Today was a first: a lesson in being completely vulnerable as I stood sobbing in front of my yoga students. I was having one of those days, and for no particular real reason I could not get it together.
As the minutes ticked past the start time for class, I stood cowering behind the desk in the studio searching for the strength to stand in front of the classroom and have 20+ sets of eyes on me in my most raw state. After a quick pep talk from a very good friend, I thought f*ck it, I just have to own this. So I got up there and said "hi guys, I'm crying for no reason and I need some time to get myself together, please come into Savasana" and then I just let the tears flow. I made eye contact with a woman in the front row who I had never seen in class before and I could see the empathy in her eyes. Then one of my amazing students got up to hug me, and then a fellow yoga teacher in the room stood up and kindly offered to teach the class if I needed her too. I thanked her and said I think I need to get through this.
I took a few minutes to sit down and just be with myself and take some deep breaths. It was a good five minutes before I could speak. And then I taught the class, and when it was over I thanked the students for bearing with me.
After class a couple people came up to me and said that they understand what I'm feeling, and they have days like that too, and that I help them through their tough times, which of course made me cry even more! I can't really put into words how that made me feel, but it helped.
I'm so grateful for my yoga community who accepts me in all my emotional states with open hearts, kindness, and empathy. The world needs more of that. Thank you.